I can’t describe it.
It’s that thrill in your chest as you barrel down a water slide, wind slapping your face, clinging tightly to the inner tube. It starts to tip, and reality is suspended until the faded rubber once again splashes down and rests firmly on it’s tracks. Your breath comes out in a gasp, and despite the sheer terror you felt moments earlier, a new smile tugs at your lips.
It’s not perfectly safe. It’s risky. It’s new, just like being 18.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t appreciate seeing my life hang in the balance. I like to think I’ll disembark, pick up my blue sandals, and head on to the next adventure. Have you ever found yourself simply in awe of everything? That’s how life is right now. A late nights, ice-cream from the bucket, nerve-wracking tests and giggling til we cry sort of life.
I’ve met incredible people. Their concern and unspoken commitment to me, and those around me, blows me away.
I’ve lost inspiration, and I’ve found it again in the most peculiar places.
I’ve let myself down, let others down, and let my Heavenly Father down, but the fact that they stayed nearby, and kept right on loving me, has had me blinking back tears.
Each morning, I am learning to be flexible, yet unshakable. Powerful in both body and mind, yet committed to realizing how desperate I am for Him.
This mind can’t comprehend the unconditional kindness, appreciation, and encouragement we’ve received. In so many instances I smiled in the face of discouragement, and found joy waiting on the others side. I’m not staying in one place any longer. I am capable of SO much, and it’s thrilling to think that I can push limits and succeed in roads less traveled. Wide-eyed and wobbly-kneed, I’m tackling every challenge with renewed vigor.
Honestly, it terrified me to think of leaving what I’d so recently discovered, to embrace a new chapter of life. I begged God for wisdom. I needed it to be from Him. And his reply had me grinning like a goofball. He said go. So I’m going!
I’m giving up security and comfort, to follow a God I trust has me right smack in the middle of His plan. As I learn more about rescuing people, I am incredibly grateful he rescued me not so long ago. I can honestly say he changed everything.
How does it feel to be 18? It feels like hope.